A series of random unrelated incidents involving prostitutes and broken noes

Its 9:30pm and me and Lauren hear a "tweeting" sound (much like a bird) and if you were a stranger (or us for the first week living here) you could mistake it for a dying bird that happened to land right outside our door, but no its our doorbell. Here in the Middle East a "ding dong" sound just does not cut it, they prefer dying animal noises. Matt and Mustafa are at our door...well rather by the street 20 feet from our door, because that is the location of our doorbell, and they want us to walk down the street with them to get dinner. So we go. Now our street is locally known as The place to go if you want to pick up a Lady of the Night (or if you are unfamiliar with slang associated with the "worlds oldest profession" I am talking about prostitutes). So I live on a street of ill repute and across the street, a little to the right, under this nice pleasent olive tree is where the madam sits and makes 'appointments', but at night the ladies come out in the flesh and so if you are walking around outside and see girls in burkas (the black dresses and head scarves that cover the entire face) you can be sure that they are prostitutes. So back to my story...we are walking down the street and across the street we see this women (complete with a burka) that is talking to this man in an orange constuction truck and he is waving here away and so were were like 'oh he is saying no to her services', so we went to the little restraunt, got some burrittos (think of Mexican burrittos and they are not that), went to the grocery store and then about an hour later we are walking back down are street and we see the same orange construction truck but this time we see this women leaving his orange vehicle! She is in there and he bends down and kisses here and she decends and he starts driving away, and this is what he sees: the four of us, standing in a line, staring at him with our mouths open and then we proceeded to have a staring contest with him as he drove away. Now as soon as he drove away a car that had also seen this transaction pulls to screeching halt in front of the girl and the car behind him runs into him. I thought it was funny.

Second prostitution story: So as some of you know, and many of you do not the U.S. beat Egypt 3-0 in a soccer game, but the previous game was a complete miracle for Egypt because they had beat Italy and it was a huge deal out here. So everybody was like "how in the world did the U.S. beat Italy"...well the next day we read in the papers that sometime between the two games the Egyptian soccer team was somewhere in Africa and $250,000 was stolen from their hotel room and they blamed the hotel workers, but cameras showed that they had a bunch of prostitutes in their rooms and they stole the money. Karma. And stupid, do they not know how many dieseases there are in eastern/central/pretty much the whole continent of Africa especially with prostitutes!

About a week ago the field in front of our house caught on fire (don't worry the olive tree that gives shade to the Madam is still standing) and I was outside with no shoes on watching the spectacle and wanted to go across the street to take a picture so I decided to go back into our house to grab some shoes. I havent mentioned before that our apartment faces the street and so there is the street, then the sidewalk, then about 4 steps, and then 20 feet of narrow patio before you get to our front door which is a sliding glass door with a rod iron door in front of it. So I run down the sidewalk, I run up the stairs, and I run down the walkway and I see that the gate is open and that the sliding door is open and I go to run into the house and then BAM I slam right into the sliding door which much to my surprise was NOT OPEN. I did not break the door (surprisingly). But it hurt and I got a bloody noes and I was crying for about 15 minutes and I either bruised my noes pretty badly or broke it a little because it still hurts. A lot. I want sympathy, but I don't get any, people think its funny. I don't.